Sexy Futures

Updated on Tuesday, December 8, 2009 at 9:46AM by Editor

I was looking for something clever to say about the Tiger Woods, but I'm coming up empty. Presumably it's positive that Oprah's giving the young couple advice. She definitely knows how to handle this dicey marital situation.

In fact, it probably does fall to Hef to tell us to prop up our dropped jaws and carry on. Or Gawker: The reputation of professional golf was always at the mercy of Tiger's balls, but it now appears to be the case more than ever.

Depending on how you count, you're at 8, 9 or 10. I bet Hef is holiday green with envy. Article continues at Anne of Carversville.

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This is a Nov. 21, 2009, file photo showing Tiger Woods with his daughter, Sam, and wife, Elin, before the start of an NCAA college football game between Stanford and California, in Stanford, Calif. Tiger Woods said he let his family down with transgressions he regrets "with all of my heart," and that he will deal with his personal life behind closed doors. His statement Wednesday, Dec. 2, 2009, follows a cover story in Us Weekly magazine that reports a Los Angeles cocktail waitress claims she had a 31-month affair with the world's No. 1 golfer. (AP Photo/Marcio Jose Sanchez, File)I would never share the smirk that went through my mind, when I wrote Tiger Turmoil: Three and Counting yesterday.  I don't condone mistresses unless both parties agree, and what's good for him is good for her. 

But three mistresses and counting, you're a rake . . . simply stated.

"I wonder if he's on Ashley Madison," I laughed.

Tiger Woods hardly needs to go looking for woman trouble but then again, he's a guy with a warped sense of not getting busted. So who knows . . . perhaps Tiger trolls Craiglist, too. 

What I've learned in life is that great guys are everywhere -- if you consider a romp with Tiger as confirmation of his great guy status.

AFF perhaps? Now that's a place where looks are really deceiving. Lots of successful single men interested in long-term dating, if not marriage.

In the future I think Tiger needs a woman handler for these infidelities. He may be a great putter but his extra-marital adventures may just blow up the whole darn golf course.

This morning's New York Daily News headline asks: Tiger Woods to be the new fact of cheating web site AshleyMadison.com? I could say that great minds run on the same track, but then the headline would come from the NYTimes. Then again, perhaps I don't know myself very well. Anne

PS: has anyone considered that Tiger's golf game may go plum to hell if he becomes parental and devoted to his lovely wife and children? Clearly we're dealing with a high testosterone guy here.

Ashley Madison Mantra: Life Is Short; Have an Affair